What I thought

I remember my freshmen year in band, and I always thought “This would be so much more enjoyable if I was a section leader, or maybe even a drum major.” I didn’t know much, but I knew I wanted to be the ones calling everyone in for rehearsal, sending out important information to everyone, and the people who get to walk around while everyone else is sweating and doing choreo. It seemed like they weren’t doing much, but getting all the praise from the band.

My Experience

Fast forward to my junior year in the band where I became a drum major. My wish came true, and even a year earlier than I had hoped. I couldn’t wait to do all the things that I had thought of during my two years as just a member. But the real truth wasn’t as glamorous as I had imagined.

I had to get there hours before everyone else to deal with something that no one would ever know about. I would be running the metronome perfectly the whole night until I mess up once and get called out in front of the whole band for messing it up. I would have to obsess over knowing the music inside and out, because my preparation would dictate whether or not the entire band would be able to perform at their best.

The biggest difference? Having to wait until everyone in the band had left before I could leave, meaning no more section dinners or activities with friends afterwards. My junior year felt the most disconnected I had ever been, not just with the band, but also with my friends.

The point? Being a leader is having to do all the work, and take none of the credit. It’s being expected to be at your best at all times, and anything less would be subpar, because YOU are responsible for the success of others.

Recently, my friend was thinking about the same thing, and I loved the way he put it: “Leaders Debunked.” What I know now is that leadership isn’t a shortcut to comfort; it’s a commitment to service. It’s showing up early, staying late, and choosing responsibility over recognition, and all in the effort to make everyone else’s experience better, even if it means sacrificing your one.

The Upside?

If people knew this, why would they do it? I’ve heard the usual lines—“seeing everyone’s joy makes it worth it,” “that one freshman’s ‘thank you’ makes it worth it”—and they might be true for some people; however, for me it’s simpler: with the ability to lead comes the chance and responsibility to turn your effort into someone else’s win.

Putting yourself in a leadership position is choosing to trade comfort for impact on purpose. You give up three and the group gains fifteen—not because you’re a hero, but because that’s where your effort multiplies best. It’s where your effort of 3 could be 15, whereas someone else's could be 3 to 5. For me, I love knowing that my efforts would help others, even if I never get to see it directly. I have grown fond of the idea of silent service, where no one would ever even think about something, but knowing that they wouldn’t be able to do that something if I hadn’t set something else up in the first place.

“"A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves."

• Lao Tzu

Finally, I understood the meaning of leadership.